everything has improved, save for my brother's mental sanity, since my last post.
this upcoming weekend is especially exciting, a lot of drugs and a hot date.
a good old teenage time.
post on here sometimes you fucks
thanks for the title, christian. fits quite aptly.
the worst day ive had in 2 years. actually, probably longer than that.
all i can do now is go see my grandfather, and hope. feels so helpless, but at least its not hopeless. he is fighting.
the other dilemma just compounded on the already increasing crisis. it pushed me over the edge, but i think i needed that, badly.
stress brings the truly important problems in your life to light, always. what a wake up call.
you know, i had the premonition that something like that was coming; she was too eerily similar to the bird. i just didnt know that it would come so soon, that the wording would be the exact same.
my life felt like a bad sitcom, again. the truman show.
the silver lining is in that, now i know, now i understand the true root of these feelings, these pains.
feels more comforting than lonely, now.
have to be stronger than ever, now.
that astrology sex book might actually have some truth to it which is really strange; although i cant free myself from my own personal biases enough to tell completely and rationally.
also, i think im extremely neurotic, and that i incessantly worry over things that aren't real, not like actually crazy voices in my head sort of stuff, i mean that i overly dramaticize things and over analyze things too much too often, and it is a serious problem. i truly do get by with a little help from my friends. "just chill out, bro. it'll be alright."
i really try to not think about it at all, to not pity myself at all, and really to act like its not real at all, that its not that big of a deal, c'mon man you're so well off. but, i know that im a fucked up person and always will be. "is she tyler amounts of fucked up?" "no i dont think its that bad" (paraphrasing) during the podcast was so funny, but yeah, i am pretty fucked.
just wanted to say a quick thanks to you guys, and for this livejournal being a thing. i love you and i love it. it helps to write it all out. not too much, but enough. you guys know what im talking about.
what a weird day, i thought canyon died and ghosts are coming out of the attic, spooky shit man. meme magic is real.
thank god for tinder women to keep my shallow self well supplied with meaningless compliments for the cold winter, i love them all, each and every single one, even the single moms, even the ones not on here for hookups, even the disney pass holders, more than you.